The new beginnings

So this is how it all kicked off...

Scene 1 : Mom and me.

"When do you wanna get married?" - After another two years, may be.

*Man proposes God disposes!* A couple of weeks later...

"What do you think of S?" - He is good. Why?

"You should may be talk to him" - Huh? What?

--June 8, 2014 --

And thats the moment I knew I am done.
 
Scene 2 : Inner me and me for the next two months.

 "Do you wanna get married?" - Naaah !

"Do you like him?" - Ofcourse I like him

"Do you really wanna take this forth?" - Yes and No. I am so hoping he will NO me. (The optimistic me)

"What if he doesn't?" - He has always been NO'ing. He will.

"If at all..." - Why would he YES? Oh! Crap!

"So now, convince yourself for an YES." - He has put up with me for like two years now, good enough isn't it? He has seen at my worst and still chose to stick on. If he still thinks this is gonna work out, I guess this is worth the try.

"Are you sure this is what you want?" - I am. Once I take this step, I, for sure, know there is no looking back, ever. (The pessimistic me)

"So why don't you call him up?" - Let him.

"Text atleast?" - He will.

>>And I never brought this up for the next 12 weeks and 5 days after Scene 1, until he did <<

 Scene 3 : S and me, another couple of months later.

 "Will you be happy with me?" - Yes!

--September 6, 2014--

And thus, it all began.

In-Law-ing ... !

At times, I simply sit back and hope that all this is nothing but a long realistic dream and that I would wake up in my Bangalore apartment, cozily wrapped in my sheets...

Many a times, the happenings make me feel that it is all just too fast for me to get a grip on the reality. It is so fast that I have even stopped trying for the grip.

I was chatting with a friend on Lync at work and in the conversation's course, this is what I did -

Type : "naah re ! i gotta visit my in-laws that sunday, the weekend is ... "

Press Enter.

And then I sat staring at my screen for which seemed to be a really long time.

Okay, this is the first time I have used those words "IN-LAWS" to denote my own. I should admit it makes me feel a lil old than weird. Down the lane, in a couple of months, I will be expected to be the responsible one. God!! 

This is EXACTLY how I feel -

PS : Joey love

Apathy or Apetite?!

Until a couple of weeks back, I had absolutely no idea about the nuances of MY wedding. You ask me suggestions/ ideas for some random person's wedding and I can talk in length getting into the very minute details of even the trivials. But, now that I have talk about mine, I am all - err.. uh.. hmm.. aahh.. &%^#@ !

Then it struck me - there is gonna be a wedding, no matter who the bride is, it has to be planned.

From the day it all started, things have been topsy-turvy. Appa and I have had every possible war on every single thing. We have had and still have all the differences in the world, reason being I am the one with the taste for reality. After almost half a dozen world wars, here I am:

I wanted a July wedding. Coz Chennai summers are too hot and January is like tomorrow. But it is a May wedding now. (May the Lord have mercy, weather-wise!)

I was hoping a direct wedding with no struggle of engagement formality and all, but S's parents insisted, not willing to let go of their allotment of the process.

I wanted to get married the informal way - you sign, I sign and done ! Followed by a dinner with the hundred dozen friends and family - to meet the newly wed.

After much of, which now seems to have been, a pointless struggle, I ceded and pleaded for a one-day conventional wedding.

I am suggesting candid photographers, coz we (S & I) hate posing for pics and Appa thinks they are too costly.

and a lottttt more !

Being the eldest girl in the family, has its own gravy - every person in the family has their own piece of fantasy about your wedding and atleast an 80% of every-thing have to be met.

S is no exception too, for he is the only son of the two kids in the family. I can already see it all happening half way between the two worlds - reality and fantasy. And, I just realised it is more of an apetite than apathy !

Afterall, every girl deserves her day.

The Qualm And The Calm

Unprepared, is the word.

I had a whole different two years planned ahead of me, which had no traces of companionship in what-so-ever form. The plan was so fine and set, that I never had the slightest doubt that I will have to whisk away, ever. Having said that, I had no Plan B.

It included many different action plans including - change in job, get on with the passion part, do a masters, more of travel, nikon and what not, everything but a wedding ! I had also made a reasonable progress in a couple of the afore mentioned and luckily or rather unfortunately now, was shortlisted for the final stage of something that was simply more than just a dream to me.

And then, I had to choose.

It was the most chaotic fortnight I had to push through. I was neck-deep in the sea of dilemmas. The contemplation was rigorous. I was unsure of the sides. Each had its own validations. I wished it was still May and not August. Now, I sincerely hope history doesn't repeat itself, for I might not get lucky every time.

I could be selfish. I could be reluctant to give up on my dream job. I could be adamant to not get married off, this early. But things just do not work that way. I realised that my decision had its own impact on not just us ( S and me ! ) but also on the concerned families.

The choice was thus made. I, hopefully, will be going forth with the exact same 2-year plan, with a small shift in the time frame. Instead of 2015-17, it will be 2016-18.

My only rationale behind the decision - S ! And, I know I am gonna be thanking myself later.

>> Pray for me ! <<

Weddings, Nikon and Me

I am this sooper lazy girl, who would chose to sit back home in slacks and read books than dress up for a wedding and meet people.

I am highly impatient to wait in a queue to meet the wedding couple and would rather wave them from off-reception-stage and sneak out of the building to the terrace or a nearby calmer place.

I would prefer to drive back home after marking my presence to a handful of them in the crowd at the earliest possible and retire in my slacks.

Oh! and yea.. I never stood with the couple for more than 2 seconds, coz I was too scared of the photographers. God! I so hate posing for pics !!

Weddings, in my mind, have always been an extravagant avoidable affair, which people anyway chose to spend time and energy on.

Slowly into my college, though my idea about weddings remained the same, my perception did change a lil, to some extent.

My cousin's wedding was such a page turner, that I began to like large crowds, celebration and merriment.

I still did not start a shopping spree nor did I start dressing up, but it was just that, relatives/ friends will start finding me at weddings for a reasonable amount of time.

That was when I handled my first Nikon, in the last years of school. It was a Nikon Coolpix L series digital camera, that became my sole reason to attend weddings and ofcourse, the awesome food too !

Later, now, after college, weddings have became more like a ritual coz, it is all my friends getting married in a row. And attendance is more than just mandatory. Luckily, my Nikon had been upgraded twice. I hold a D5100 now and it is increasingly fun.

I have started a lil (comparatively !) on the shopping thing only coz weddings in a row cannot stand a wardrobe repetition, thanks to the same bunch of people I had to face at every event. Even then, dressing up continues to be a nightmare.

Things did change a lot, yet my idea of a wedding still remains the same - extravagant avoidable affair, which people anyway chose to spend time and energy on.

And I am no exception too !

>> Gods be Good !! <<

Rhapsodies of a Bride-to-be?

"Why on Earth would you call that that????"

 Here's why...

Weddings are ultimate fun, indeed - you get to meet a lot of your aunts, uncles and cousins whom you never knew are still alive, you get to hang out and chat long with your friends lost and found from school / college days, you get to go on a pre-wedding shopping, all the yummy food..

And above all, you get to click umpteen hundred pics with/ of the above mentioned crowd and that of the cute couple too !

YES! Agreeeeeed !! hands down!

But all this holds true only until your timer starts ticking, trust me!

My counter just started off from 200 good days. I am here all freaked out, silently yelling inside my head, all-the-time.

And.. what's with all the noise?

I am a/an -
girl
Indian girl
Indian Hindu girl
Indian Hindu Brahmin girl
and,
I will turn 24 only a lil before I turn Bride !!!

This is what I get often -

"Duh! Shattaaap! I had kids when I was your age" - and that's why it is a silent yell, always !

In an attempt to stay sane always and forever, I chose "Bells and Knots" as a vent to channelize all the yins and yangs until the D-day.

Bless me !